When we navigated our way out of the Essen Hauptbahnhoff (main train station) we were confronted by yet another Christmas market. Thankfully we had learned a good lesson from our Hamburg experience and had downloaded the Google Map of how to get to the hotel in Essen. If you looked hard enough, you could probably actually see the sign from the train station. I think we had to walk further from the platform to the train station entrance than we did to the hotel. The girl who checked us in was really helpful and found a Laundromat for us (we were getting a bit desperate by now).

After checking in, we decided to go to the train station for some bathroom supplies and then head to the Christmas market. I surprised myself in the supermarket at the train station. The checkout chick didn’t speak English but my high school German kicked in enough for me to understand the price and to interact with her politely. As Essen is not really a big ticket item on the tourist trail, the Christmas market reflected that, although there were still plenty of gifts, including at least a couple of stalls selling chocolate that looked just like rusty old tools and a stall selling dental tools. Yep dental tools. We decided to go searching for some dinner. We stopped at the bratwurst stand. The rather large bratwurst came in a rather small bread roll so that about a third of it stuck out at each end. After a third of mine, that was enough for me- so I ate the bun and donated the rest of the bratwurst to Dan. I was still hungry though and decided the potato cakes with Apple sauce (another staple at these markets) was the go. They were good when they were freshly cooked but they are pretty greasy when the cool down, which is pretty quickly in Germany in winter. Next up, Dan went in search of a beer. He queued at what seemed like a very busy bar. It was. But it only served gluhwein. Dan got one anyway. The way it appears to work in Essen is that you pay for the glass with the first drink and then keep the glass for subsequent drinks. Presumably there is also some type of returns system so you get the money back on the glass at the end of the night. Although we couldn’t work it out so just took the glass with us. (Aloha Steve and Dano – Radio Birdman – I was fortunate enough to see a reformed Radio Birdman perform this at the ANU in about January 1996 – seminal Australian punk band is not quite enough.)

The next morning when we woke I had finally broken the back of my cold. But we needed to get some domestic chores done. So it was off to find the Laundromat. In the pouring rain. We wandered through town, following the directions the girl had given us at check in. And then we took a wrong turn and wound up on a street full of furniture shops. Back we went to the train station that was supposed to be just across the road from the Laundromat. I remembered the girl had said something about it being the dodgy end of town so I found the dodgiest looking road I could see – it kind of looked like a desolate area where housing projects had been polled down to make way for rows of new high rises. And there appeared to be a hospital or university or something nearby. After 19 more minutes of walking and getting completely drenched – I don’t think my cheapo Lowes spray jacket is as waterproof as it claimed – we were ready to give up. It was time to use the standby mode and turn the data roaming on just so we could use Google maps to locate the Laundromat. It was one block ahead and if I had better eyesight I probably would have been able to see the sign. While I washed and dried Dan went out on the hunt for plastic bags to carry the stuff that couldn’t go in the dryer (although I was a lot more ruthless about what really could go in the dryer than I ever am at home. The laundromat instructions were of course in German but I deciphered them and learnt a new word – Trockner – it means dryer. What you have to do in these Laundromats is put all your stuff in and then enter the machine number and pay on a central board. There was also this weird flashing light saying coffee with neon palm trees – it kind of looked like it belonged in the Copa Cabana – but there was no evidence of anywhere to procure coffee. Sitting there in the laundromat, looking out at the drizzly grey skies, I was reminded of a photo given to me by a friend some years ago when he lived in Bonn a bit south of Essen but in the same industrial heartland. Although Bonn, the capital was probably a bit more like Canberra. The photo was called the ducks of Bonn. I kept it, not just because it was part of a long running personal joke but because the ducks sitting in the grey wet winter cold typified the misery of a cold, dark winter. Sitting in the laundromat, after days on end of no sun, made me remember the photo. (Ulysses – Deine Lakein – Deine Lakein were a German outfit – I guess electro Gothic would be the best way to describe them – from the early 90s – I was introduced to them by the duck photographer so this seems an appropriate tune.)

Eventually Dan reappeared – he did get the bags but had been sidetracked by a rather large flea market in the adjacent university. Of course that lifted his spirits somewhat. I was still a bit weak from the tail end of my cold so was happy for Dan to be out doing what he loves while I waited for the clothes to dry and then set about folding them. It was already 2pm by this stage so our day in Essen was getting away from us.  We packed up the washing, pulled on my waterproof pack cover that I haven’t ever had to use before and headed back to the hotel.

Christmas themed activities – 10  War museums and model shops – 1.5