My first day in London was a little surreal. As I had decided to hire a car, I made the sensible decision to stay the night in an airport hotel before picking it up. I also wanted to follow the jetlag beating plan that had served me so well. Unfortunately, the flight landed at about 7am so my task was, after already having spent 36 hours awake, including spending the best part of the first five hours driving, to stay awake for another 12-14 hours. I also had to front up for my arrival COVID test mid-afternoon. What I didn’t have the wits for though was to spend an hour on a train into London and work out the timetables well enough to get back to the terminal and not miss my appointment. So instead, I emulated in the movie terminal and spent the day at the airport. Firstly through, after a badly needed shower, I took the chance to relax. I had it in mind to check out the UK version of Netfix. Akas the only application installed was Youtube. What it did provide though was the recent Madness doco – Before we was we. I have tried everything to watch it in Australia but the geoblocking even blocks the pirated versions. For the record, it is a good doco – much easier to watch than the so bad it’s, well, still bad, 1981 film they starred in as themselves – Take it or Leave it. Although Before we was we, which features individual interviews with band members, features footage from the autobiopic.

Eventually I got up and out of the hotel room. And crossed the carpark back into the terminal to grab a coffee. Nero, a coffee house that seems to mostly be emulating Pret-a-Manger (in the Maccas/ Hungry Jacks mould) appears to have the contract with Heathrow. They are everywhere. They purport to be truly authentic Italian coffee. Maybe, but they need to do something about properly training their baristas. A drive through Maccas flat white is 100 times better. From there I went on a trek back to Terminal 3 to find the COVID testing clinic. A couple of trips around the inside of the terminal and I eventually saw a small sign near the lifts advising the testing clinics were out on the terminal forecourt. Despite being a bit early, they were happy to shepherd me into the queue. While it was heartening to see that everybody was expected to wear a mask, there was no social distancing at all. But despite the line, it was pretty seamless. Essentially, they were administering a rapid antigen test so they could give me an official result. Despite me feeling like I was in the movie The Terminal, there isn’t much to do in an airport when you’re not airside. It makes sense of course – who spends time in an airport when they don’t have to. So I made a quick stop by the Marks and Spencer to grab some snacks and headed back to the hotel. I watched the next episode of Before we was we and some other daytime telly repeats. [Grey Day – Madness – I have been on a bit of a Madness kick of late – they sound awesome on my new mini’s stereo. Once I actually believed I might be able to go, I’ve been making my way through my collection.]

By the time I got back to the hotel room I had my negative COVID test result so one step closer to seeing Madness. I’m not counting my chickens yet because I have an appalling history with getting to see this band. In 1982, just after I started getting into them, they played a show in Canberra. My dad wouldn’t let me go because I was too young. I found out late and didn’t have time to hatch an alternate plan to sneak out. They came to Australia again in 1986 and played just one show at Selina’s. In those days before the internet and before I had discovered you could get Sydney street press mags outside Sydney, so I missed it. And then they broke up. In the leadup to their legendary Madstock reunion in 1992, where the skanking registered an earthquake, when I could barely pay my rent I  tried everything I could think of to raise the funds but it was never going to happen. From that moment on I decided never to miss a band when they came to town, especially if I hadn’t seen them before. It has been a good rule to live by. In 2009, when I was finally able to afford to travel, a day after I landed in Helsinki, Madness announced a show in Australia. I arrived home about two weeks before and finally got to see them for the first time. We re-routed our Christmas trip to see them play in Dublin on NYE 2012. Unfortunately, after driving all the way across Wales to Holyhead, the fast ferry was cancelled due to bad weather. We caught the later slow ferry and arrived at the show just to hear the applause and the lights up end of show track – always look on the bright side of life. I got to see them again in Sydney in 2017. I bought the tix for the 2020 House of Fun Weekender, the last ever, in 2019. It was postponed to 2021. Until a month ago I was convinced it would go ahead without me. Then a miracle happened and the Australian border, jammed shut from March 2020, reopened. And fingers crossed, at the end of the week I will get to see them for the third time. In six attempts.

Starting to drift off again by about 6pm, I decided it was late enough to have dinner. I wandered down to the hotel restaurant and ate possibly the worst fish and chips I have ever had. I tried to rescue it with a fruit salad which consisted of honeydew melon, grapes and pineapple. As I was eating mainly to stay awake, it achieved its purpose. A bit more telly to get me to 9pm and then I let myself sleep.